Out Sick

The wildfires in this area have kicked up a ton of smoke making it nearly hazardous to be outside. It has also given me one hell of a sinus infection causing great amounts of pain in my face. The meds I am on make it damn near impossible to focus on anything for longer than 2 sec. I weill be back in a couple days. Have fun kids.

I am taking a day off from the recipes to do something completely different.

I really feel like seeing just how far over the edge I can go right now.

So here goes something.

FUCK!

I love the fucking word. It is my favorite fucking word. Some are offended by the word and really if a word offends you, grow the fuck up. Words are just that words. There are no bad words just words used in poor context.

I fucking love to argue with people who say some words are bad. I went out on one date with a woman that feel this way and hated it when I would swear. Well too fucking bad sweetheart. This is part of the package. Hence only 1 date.

So really why the use of the word fuck in overabundance?

I lost a hero the other day and it was a hero that taught me to love words. All words not just the polite ones. If the word fuck has such impact then it proves that it is good word full of use. If it had no impact then it may as well be the word elbow.

In closing kids remember the most perfect sentence in all the world. Fuck you, you fucking fuck.

The Whoreburger

This is a variation of a buddies recipe.

2 lbs of hamburger.

Good ranch dressing.

Crushed or chopped garlic.

Sharp cheddar cheese.

Pack o bacon.

Throw the meat in the bowl and add in ranch and garlic. Mix thoroughly with hands. Make patties about 6 - 8 inches in diameter and 1/4 inch thick.

Cut bacon up and cook til done but not crispy. Shred a bunch of cheese.

On patty place cheese and bacon. Cover with second patty and run the outside together with your fingers making one giant patty. Cook then eat and have a heart attack.

For special added treat saute onions and mushrooms to throw on top. Have fun kids.

Tacos del Whore

I took the left over juices and mushrooms from the Fillet Mignon from the other day and decided to use it to help me make tacos.

1 - 1 1/2 lbs chicken. I use boneless skinless thigh meat.

Left over juices and mushrooms from this recipe.

1 pack Taco Bell taco seasoning.

1 can Rosarita fat free re-fried beans

Small tub of sour cream

Shredded sharp cheddar cheese

White corn tortillas

I threw the juices and mushrooms in my wok and turned the heat on low.

Chop up your chicken real small then throw it in.

Add seasoning and stir it all up, then leave on low heat for about 10 minutes. Then add one cup of water crank the heat up until it boils. Slowly stir until it starts boiling. Let boil for 5 minutes then reduce heat and let it simmer for 10 minutes. Then remove heat and cover.

Dump your re-fried beans in a pot on low heat and stir as it heats up. You are just warming it up.

When you are ready to make your tacos strain your chicken and mushrooms then throw back in pan.

The tortillas you can cook up in oil or use as is.

Throw a tspn of sour cream on your tortilla with a tspn of refried beans or more depending on your tastes. Add chicken cover in cheese and viola you are ready to eat. We made up 5 tacos and had left overs. Have a great weekend.

Fillet Mignon

I found these wonderful fillets at Costco that come wrapped in bacon. "Hmmm bacon."

Here is what I am doing with them.

Get out a Tupperware container and put your 2 steaks in there. Pour in a some teryaki marinade and some sweet and sour marinade. Put in the fridge for a few hours.

I am going to broil the steaks for however long it takes to get them just barely medium rare.

In a pan I am going to melt some butter, throw in some garlic and mushrooms and sautee the hell out of them.

I have White sweet corn on the cob and a baked potato to go with it.

Pretty simple on this one. Enjoy.

Sweet and Whore Chicken

Now if there is one thing you should know it is that no traditional recipe is safe in this house. I must fuck with everything. Sweet and sour chicken is no exception.

1 1/2 Chicken. Again I prefer boneless skinless thigh meat because it has more natural flavor and cooks easier.

1/4 lb cream cheese.

1/4 stick butter.

1/2 cup World Harbor Maui Mountain sweet and sour marinade.

Brown rice.

Steamed vegetables.

Melt your cream cheese and butter and whip with a whisk.

Add sweet and sour and mix.

Cut chicken into small 3 year old bite sizes.

Use low medium heat and slow cook chicken in your sauce. Stir occasionally until chicken is thoroughly cooked.

Cook your rice half way and then throw it in with your chicken so it will soak up all the flavor. When done add your choice ov of veggies. You can consider adding a little dill to bring out the flavor or add garlic. Play with it and have fun.

Chicken Whorefredo

As with every one of my recipes this one can be modified. Pretty much everything I make is a variation of something else.

1 1/2 Chicken. I use boneless, skinless thigh meat. It just tastes better and it is easier to cook with.

2 packets of Knorr Alfredo

1/2 lb sliced mushrooms.

1/4 cup crushed or chopped garlic.

1/3 lb cream cheese.

1/2 stick butter.

A few shakes of black pepper

A couple shakes of dill

Brown rice or angel hair pasta.

Milk. Again just pull out the gallon.

The Alfredo is the same as the one from the Whoretellini recipe only once you have whipped the cream cheese and butter then add in your chopped up chicken and slow cook on medium low heat for 20-30 minutes stirring occasionally.

Add your spices, mushrooms and Alfredo mix. Add 2-3 cups of milk and raise your heat to high to boil. Do not stop stirring. As it thickens coming to a moil add milk until you have the amount of sauce you want while maintaining thickness. Then reduce heat to low and stir frequently.

One variation to this sauce is to find a good sweet and sour marinade and add 1/4 cup when you throw in the chicken. Mix well.

If you do the angel hair pasta break the noodles up to 2 inch lengths. This way you don't have to cut it up for the 3 year old or other small children. Half cook the pasta and rice. Add a cup of water to the sauce and then throw in your strained noodles or rice. Now it will absorb some of your sauce into the rice or pasta giving you a full flavor meal. Once you add the rice or pasta make you sure you have turned down the heat and stir every 5 minutes until done. The get out your spoon and serve with the vegetable of your choice.

Raspberry Choclate Whorets

This one is a work in progress that I have been playing with. It is dam good though.

1/2 lb cream cheese.

1/2 stick of butter.

1/2 pound Raspberries.

2 table spoons sour cream

Sugar to flavor.

1/4 cup bakers chocolate powder

1-2 cups shaved chocolate.

Bisquick

Melt down butter and cream cheese add sour cream and mix well with whisk

Add Powdered bakers chocolate

Fold in Raspberries.

Add sugar to your tastes.

Use basic Bisquick recipe for pie crust. Roll out 1/2 balls of dough and use rolling pin to roll as thin as humanly possible.

Lay out rolled out dough and drop a tablespoon of cream raspberry mix in the middle.

Add a sprinkle of shaved chocolate.

Fold into a rectangle leaving room for expansion and turn over.

Stick in oven at 350 and wait 5 minutes then add sprinkles of shaved chocolate. Let bake for maybe 5 minutes and then pull and let cool.

Movie Whore Beef and Mushroom Stew

A friend of mine gave me this 2 lb chunk of sirloin yesterday and I decided to stretch it out into something the family could eat of of the next couple days.

2lbs Sirloin.

1/2 lb Sliced Mushrooms.

2 cups water.

2 cups Basque Norte Marinade.

1/4 cup cooking oil.

2 tablespoons vinegar.

1 packet McCormicks Montreal Steak marinade.

2 large baker potatoes

1 Crock Pot.

Flour, just grab the bag.

Throw in all the liquid ingredients and the Montreal Steak marinade mix into the crock pot and mix well with a whisk.

Cube your sirloin and toss it in. Mix well with your hand.

Add mushrooms and mix up by hand a gain.

Cube up your potatoes and throw them int he pot with the meat and mushrooms.

Turn crock pot to low and let sit over night.

In the morning add 4 whole bay leaves.

Around 2 pm use a large slated spoon to remove the meat and mushrooms and potatoes and place in a bowl.

Take the remaining liquid and pour into a pot. Mix with flour to get a nice thick consistency.

Add water. Just enough to cover everything.

Turn back on low for 2 hours. Check about every 30 minutes to make sure you don't lose too much water.

After about 2 hours start adding in you rue/gravy that you made. Add as much as you feel is going to work for you. The cook for another hour on high. Serve with the following biscuits.

Bisquick biscuits with a half pound of shredded shard cheddar and a 1/4 cup of crushed or chopped garlic to the mix. Then bake and serve.

Tomorrow is a pastry treat that will make your mouth water I guarantee.

Whoretellini with Alfredo Mushroom sauce

This is my latest creation. Should be incredible.

Bag o' tortellini

2 Knorrs Alfredo mix

1/2 lb Cream Cheese

1/2 lb Mushrooms

1 stick butter

Just grab a gallon of milk out of the fridge as use will vary.

The tortellinis is the hard part. Just follow the directions on the bag. I used a three cheese but you can use what you want.

Large pot.

Melt butter and cream cheese on low heat and whip up with a whisk

Add alfredo mix.

Start with 2-3 cups of milk. Eyeball it.

Bring to a boil as it heats up monitor thickness and add milk half a cup at a time there in abouts. Eyeball it.

Add chopped mushrooms

Add pepper. A few shakes.

A dash or 2 of dill

A couple or more shakes of rosemary

Never stop stirring. When you feel you have the right amount starting to boil pull from heat and keep stirring

Stir every couple minutes for next ten minutes.

If you followed the directions your tortellini should be done and drained ready to throw in the sauce. Mix and serve

If you like you can cut up some chicken and fry it up separately and throw it or you may even want to try sea food.

Have fun.

Movie Whore Meatloaf and Mash Potatoes

As a kid I hated meat loaf. I mean despised on a level of hate I can not even begin to describe. So one day I was bored in the kitchen and figured what the hell let me see what I can come up with.

Now keep in mind any ingredient portions of guesstimates as I never measure anything. So here we go.

2 lbs ground beef.

1 cup Italian herb bread crumbs maybe more

chopped mushrooms as many as you like.

Garlic I buy the jars of crushed or chopped garlic. Use as much as you want as I know not everyone loves garlic as much as I do.

1/4 cup of any of the following. A-1, BBQ sauce any flavor, Sweet and sour marinade.

1 Egg

Dill weed. I don't measure I just use what ever looks like a good amount.

A small dash of crushed mint.

Throw it all in a bowl and mix with your hands. Yes use your hands. I know it feels disgusting but it really is the best way to do it. Once mixed up forget the bread pan this for the square Pyrex dish you rarely use because you don't know what to make in it.

Once you have it in there throw it in the oven at 375 for 40 minutes then remove and cover the top with a layer of one or a mixture of the following. A-1, BBQ sauce any flavor, Sweet and sour marinade. You want to try and use something with a thick consistency. Sy and Kristen shut up it's cooking you sick fucks.

Turn the oven to broil and put the loaf back in for about 10-15 minutes checking it every 5 minutes. When done you have something that is filling with small portions and is great for left overs if you are a family of 4.

Movie Whore Mash Potatoes

I recommend a mix of golden potatoes and red potatoes.

1/4 pound Cream Cheese

1 stick of butter

1/8 cup of crushed or chopped garlic

4-6 oz of shredded sharp cheddar

4-6 oz shredded Monterrey Jack

Do not peel the potatoes. Cut in half then 1/2 inch slices. Boil checking for tenderness.

While the potatoes are boiling throw the cream cheese butter and garlic into your mixing bowl and nuke until butter is melted.

Use electric hand mixer to whip to a creamy consistency.

Add potatoes and mix well.

Pull out your long Pyrex baking dish and spread potatoes evenly across the pan. Cover in cheese. Throw it in the oven just long enough to melt the cheese and serve.

This is a meal that will stick to your ribs and fill you tummy nicely. Also you may have a heart attack.

Keep in mind kids that I actually measure nothing. It is more like "That looks like enough" or "I think I need a little more."

I find it works for me. Then again I cook on instinct. You have to know what you like. You can modify this any way you wish. Have fun with it and let me know how it turns out.

Recipe Week

Last week sucked hardcore. It was a lesson in brutality on ones psyche, self pity and depression.

You see I have been looking for work since January and I still can't find anything and that is even after applying to flip burgers. So i guess you can say it can frustrate a man to the point where he starts to question himself and what he is doing. It also makes you bat shit crazy for a few days.

I am feeling better now. It just seems anytime I try to get myself in a position to do something out of the house. I get slapped down hardcore. Normally I am all for being slapped around but this has just been ridiculous the last few months.

So I think for the rest of the week I am going to share onf the things that brings me peace. Cooking. That's right kids it's going to be recipe week starting with my own variation of twice baked potatoes.

All recipes will feed 4-6 people depending on ages of your children.

2-3 Large Baker potatoes.
1-1 1/2 pounds of chicken. I use thigh meat but you can use breast meat is you like.
1/4 pound cream cheese.
Half a stick of butter
about 1/4 cup of sweet and sour marinade
about a 1/4 cup of Teryaki marinade. Look for a thicker marinade. If you get the watered down stuff half it.

I use a wok for most of my cooking but I guess you could use a large pan for this as well.

Get your potatoes in the oven at least one hour before you plan to eat dinner.

Throw the cream cheese, butter, sweet and sour and teryaki into your wok and set at low heat.

Take out the chicken and cut it up into small cubes.

After cutting up the chicken the butter should be melted and the cream cheese should nice softened up enough to use a whish to mix sauce up.

Turn your heat up just a little and throw in the chicken. Let it slow cook while your Potatoes cook.

When the potatoes are ready to come out cut them in half and get to scooping them out. Take what you scoop up and mix up with sour cream.

Use a slatted spoon and drain the chicken as you fill the potatoes.

Spread a layer of the mashed potatoes over the top of the chicken and then cover in shredded cheese of choice. I like to use sharp cheddar and monterey jack cheese.

Throw your potatoes back in the oven til the cheese melts and serve.

Experiment with it and have fun. I ahve also made this using Knorr alfredo mix instead of the sweet and sour and teryaki. But the cream cheese and butter is what gives you your base. You can also use this base for a number of other sauces. We may see it return this week. I never now what I am making unitl aoround noon pacific standard time so for you east coasters that's 3pm.

Have fun kids.

Themes and such

Looking for a new theme for my other site. I want something that will give me the ability to have an article list with summary on the home page instead of the full articles. I am frustrated.

Now I am going to go sit and think about what I need to sit and think about.

Then this guy went anf got tested for stuff and he had none. I have more stuff in the back though so I am going to go get the stuff so you sit here and wait and I will be right back with some stuff.

I am so glad he left. He has been a real pain in the ass lately. He thinks he's so fucking funny. He's a fucking dolt is what he is.

Be nice. He has been under a lot of stress. You were there, you saw what he had to deal with.

Yeah man I was there too. Lighten up on the dude.

Fuck him. He's a fucking pansy ass moither fucker. I say we kick his ass then shove his head in the toilet.

Dumb ass. His head is all of our heads. You really want your head shoved in a toilet?

Fuck, I always forget that part.

Yes you do. I really wish you would stop that. Having ones head put into the bowl of a toilet and then flushing the toilet is a foul experience. Let's not forget that next time please.

You know he has a point. Normally I would be disagreeing because I hate that fucking egg head but today he is making sense.

What the fuck are you guys doing? How come every time I step out for a moment you ass clowns have start mucking about and ruining the way things go on around here.

So now what?

So The Queen of the Geeks has this friend with a name that conjures the image of a Hispanic beauty. Turns out she is a dirty blond white girl. Looks kind of like a Stacey. So my future wife tells me not to call her Stacey or she will probably kick my ass. Bah.

So I told her the story and she laughed her ass off. Now it's our joke to torment my future wife.

It's 1 am kids. I am tired and have been dealing with a sleep over with D.Q. and her friends. 4 girls ages 5-9. My night has been interesting to say the least. Throw in a obnoxious 3 year old Dude and we had craziness tonight. I am done. Have a great weekend kids.

OUCH!

Every Tuesday I feel like I need to soak my wrist in ice for a few hours. No not from that. I bowl in a league on Monday nights. I used to be pretty good but lately I can' hit the broad side of a barn.

Then add to it. I got these shoes with a low setting heel. My right leg is 3/4 inch shorter than the left one. Yesterday I walked DQ to school because both cars need serious work and we are broke. With that one heel sitting too low I think I have pulled a tendon that goes from the back of my ankle half way up the back of my thigh and I can barely walk. OUCH!

So here I sit with my coffee and a smoke. Wondering what the hell to wrote about today.

Then I reach in my pocket and pull out my magic beans. I throw them in the air and they fly through the house. The rest on my monitor and start to dance about. I am confused. I thought I was supposed to get a beanstalk out of this deal.

Then I ran out side found that I had been whisked away house and all to a magic land full of magic things.

There was a butterfly sitting on a flower and he said "What the hell dso you want?"

"Where the hell am I?"

"Look asshole this is your dream or hallucination or whatever. I am just here as scenery."

Then he flew off.

So off I walk down a path made of peanut butter cups and it is slow moving as I cruch them with each step. Now I have chocolate and peanut butter deliciousness stuck to the bottom of my shoes.

Then I woke up and found myself in bed and tried to get up but then the pain hit and I fell on my face with one of the cats just staring at me.

How did your morning start?

So I have not been online much the last few days. I will be making the rounds today though.

It has been a weird couple of days. I been spending a lot of time with real people. I know how could I cheat on with you real people. I mean I know you would understand if I said I got lost on a porn forum for 3 days and have just now made my way out.

Friday night I was hanging out with a couple friends, well more like long lost brother and sister in law. We sat in front of their place drinking and talking for several hours. My sister was there too. She got drunk and wanted me to call one of my friends for a booty call. I would never do that to one of my friends. I wouldn't do that to a lot of people I hate. She is mean. Mean on a whole other level.

Found Home Improvement reruns on Nick at night and I have been digging it big time. I love that show. I always kind of had a thing for Patricia Richardson. Something about her I found sexy. Can't explain it.

So it looks like I might be flipping burgers for a while until I can build my brand enough to get some more attention and making a little cash. Oh well. I have done worse.

Had dinner with my dad tonight. He through some ribs in the slow cooker until they came right off the bone then added some teryaki ginger barbecue sauce and made BBQ sandwiches out it. Damn good stuff.

The Wookie was over here most the day. He really is just a walking target. Every time he opens his mouth he says something that just serves up one hell of a slam and of course I take it and hit out the park.

Then I found that thing that the guy was looking for and he said that he did not want it anymore and I was not happy and then he said he wanted that other thing that I had found with the other guy who found those other things a while back and put them in a museum.

Well kids on that note I am off to bed. You have a good Monday and go take a gander what the others are doing. I'm out.