Let me put it this way, I added it to Flickchart and it went straight to number 15.
How do I even begin to gush like a schoolgirl over this film?
My panties were wet the entire time.
I have seen very few examples of a filmmaker reaching down within himself and showing more courage and more focus in delivering not just a message but a character and a story that made that message make sense.
I almost shut the movie off very close to the beginning. There is a scene that is not just merely brutal, but holy fuck shit brutal. Look at it this way, I laugh through most of A CLOCKWORK ORANGE, I thought parts of KALIFORNIA were funny as hell and it's parts you shouldn't find funny. My point is this, I am a sick fuck, I admit it I have something wrong with my wiring for some of the things I find entertaining in film. However this scene even made me go "What the holy fuck is going on here?!"
I am glad I kept going and I am glad Bobcat Goldthwait has the biggest brass balls I have seen on a film maker since IN BRUGES.
From there the film got better and better.
If you are expecting a shit ton of action, this is not your film. If you want a character driven story with some fucked up yet very fucking cool action scenes, then pull up a comfy place to sit and enjoy the ride.
This is a complete film.
Example
One of the things my wife and I talked about and she noticed it first, was the way the camera was used to capture and draw out emotion in a scene. Cinematography can help you tell your story. Bradley Stonesifer did an incredible job of using the camera to bring depth to the story.
Joel Murray is fucking awesome. He made this character real in a way that you feel as you go through the film. You can't help but identify with him and admire him. He is the part of you that kicks you in the ass every time you let it slide because well everybody else is doing it.
He is so honest in his portrayal of a man who feel like so many of us do.
What I really want to get into though is how brilliantly he delivered some of the most brilliant dialog I have ever heard. When Frank gets into the why I am going around killing people, pay attention.
Bobcat found a way to channel the frustrations of every father I know when he looks at his little girl and then looks out at the world. My daughter is 14 and my son is 8 and Bobcat just channeled me into this film.
This is an important film. I will rarely ever say that a film is important, most aren't. Most are distractions from the real world, this film is reminder that the real world has become a distraction and its time to wake up and take it back.
I dare you to watch this film and not have it make you feel guilty, even just a little bit. Even I had my moments in this film where I said, hey wait a minute don't kill me and instead of getting pissed at Bobcat, I though about it and the man is right. I would say dude, but it takes a man to make a film like this and stand behind it and show it to the world that needs to see it but will most likely hate it.
Instead of dogging on Bobcat, I admire his courage and integrity. He could of made it softer, he could looked at the backlash that might come from it and let that fear drive his film. Instead he made the film he wanted to make and I am damn glad he did and I command you to go watch it as soon as you can. The Move Whore has spoken.
Have a nice day.
Monday, July 29, 2013
Saturday, July 27, 2013
Why Air Wolfe Could Be A Good Movie
Let's start with the Air Wolfe itself. It's supposed to be some super advanced helicopter right?
We use drones these days. See what I am saying. This thing would have to be some sort of space ship looking thing complete with cloaking device and other goodies to keep the us gadget geeks tuning in for what would be and always is weak dick writing with a predictable plot and generic dialog.
Oh yeah this supposed to be why it would be a good movie. I guess it wouldn't.
Next?
We use drones these days. See what I am saying. This thing would have to be some sort of space ship looking thing complete with cloaking device and other goodies to keep the us gadget geeks tuning in for what would be and always is weak dick writing with a predictable plot and generic dialog.
Oh yeah this supposed to be why it would be a good movie. I guess it wouldn't.
Next?
HERO vs THE EMPEROR AND THE ASSASSIN
HERO vs THE EMPEROR AND THE ASSASSIN.
Hero is a business driven fantasy based on the history that was artfully presented by The Emperor and the Assassin.
Watch each film.
Watch each for the sake of the art of story telling.
One story gives you a small piece of what life of a man destined for greatness he had no choice in and he let that drive his every action and thought. A story that also shows another man who is never wanted to kill again but took this one last job for love. One last job that he knew would kill him.
Hero glosses of a narrative and characters that are deep and complex. Sure, it's pretty and who doesn't love Jet Li?
I think the guys acting talent is extremely underrated and under used by Hollywood and brilliantly captured by Hong Kong.
However when you get into the characters and see the depth of the story of each character, I just don't understand why anyone would ever say that Hero did the story justice and should be considered good story telling. The Emperor and the assassin however dove deep into the story of each character that ended up giving China its first Emperor.
It is a fitting film to go along side with The Last Emperor, imagine that one as a kung fu movie.
See my point?
Hero is a business driven fantasy based on the history that was artfully presented by The Emperor and the Assassin.
Watch each film.
Watch each for the sake of the art of story telling.
One story gives you a small piece of what life of a man destined for greatness he had no choice in and he let that drive his every action and thought. A story that also shows another man who is never wanted to kill again but took this one last job for love. One last job that he knew would kill him.
Hero glosses of a narrative and characters that are deep and complex. Sure, it's pretty and who doesn't love Jet Li?
I think the guys acting talent is extremely underrated and under used by Hollywood and brilliantly captured by Hong Kong.
However when you get into the characters and see the depth of the story of each character, I just don't understand why anyone would ever say that Hero did the story justice and should be considered good story telling. The Emperor and the assassin however dove deep into the story of each character that ended up giving China its first Emperor.
It is a fitting film to go along side with The Last Emperor, imagine that one as a kung fu movie.
See my point?
Friday, July 26, 2013
Why you should hire me for your next film project
I rarely dream. Rarely. I usually find that my daydreams suffice. I have a vivid imagination and can hallucinate at will. It is a useful trick when editing a script, it allows me to step inside the film and it's making before we even settle on the script.
It is very much like opening a doorway in the mind that allows you to walk into any reality you choose to experience. Not many people can do it, but it is what allows me to be so effective at what I do. I am a psychic and this is part of my psychic gift and how I use it to be apart of the art I can not create myself.
I have started dozens of writing projects and this blog thing is the only thing that I ever finish. I lose the story and can't find it again.
When I have your script in front of me, it's magical. I work like a man driven by some unknown force. The creativity of you bleeds though and with my psychic gifts I am able to flush out what is wrong by watching the movie and watching it be made while I am reading and making notes based on what I see in my visualizations. I find your story and help take it to it's fullest artistic potential.
I wipe off the muck so the light can shine through. I find your connect and find ways to bring it out and make it easier to be felt through the film . Not just understood but felt.
The magic of the movies is ability of the human mind to suspend disbelief long enough to accept the images before them as real. The magic of film is taking that concept and not just infecting their minds, but their hearts as well. Gaining an emotional investment from the audience is the difference between art and just another fucking movie.
If this is what you are dedicated to, let me help you and we will figure out a payment system that works for you. I am flexible, if you got big money to play with, I will make you even more, but you have to remember which one of us is the artist and which one of us is the business guy and which one of us is the psychic, when all else fails listen to the psychic, trust me, this is what I do.
It is very much like opening a doorway in the mind that allows you to walk into any reality you choose to experience. Not many people can do it, but it is what allows me to be so effective at what I do. I am a psychic and this is part of my psychic gift and how I use it to be apart of the art I can not create myself.
I have started dozens of writing projects and this blog thing is the only thing that I ever finish. I lose the story and can't find it again.
When I have your script in front of me, it's magical. I work like a man driven by some unknown force. The creativity of you bleeds though and with my psychic gifts I am able to flush out what is wrong by watching the movie and watching it be made while I am reading and making notes based on what I see in my visualizations. I find your story and help take it to it's fullest artistic potential.
I wipe off the muck so the light can shine through. I find your connect and find ways to bring it out and make it easier to be felt through the film . Not just understood but felt.
The magic of the movies is ability of the human mind to suspend disbelief long enough to accept the images before them as real. The magic of film is taking that concept and not just infecting their minds, but their hearts as well. Gaining an emotional investment from the audience is the difference between art and just another fucking movie.
If this is what you are dedicated to, let me help you and we will figure out a payment system that works for you. I am flexible, if you got big money to play with, I will make you even more, but you have to remember which one of us is the artist and which one of us is the business guy and which one of us is the psychic, when all else fails listen to the psychic, trust me, this is what I do.
Tuesday, July 23, 2013
Personal story teller
When I have trouble finding my center, I usually find myself worshiping at the altar of Kevin Smith.
Why?
He does personal well and has no problem baring himself through his films, in fact it his hobby and they paid him a few times for it. Genius.
Anyway back to the good stuff now that I have removed my tongue from Kevin's asshole.
CLERKS is personal for him. Anyone that has ever been a clerk anywhere can relate to this movie on a personal level and will spend the rest of the night telling their friends stories after the first time they see this flick.
For me though, the most personal character, Holden McNeil/Banky Edwards hands down. I was those guys. You could ask my first wife and I bet first she would tell you she hopes I am dead and then she would say yes I was the two of them blended into one dude. I'm like to cover all the bases and choose when to behave well and when to behave badly and I love the latter.
What happens when that guy is staring at his 39th birth day in around 6 weeks, well...
...that guy is married. If he was too look for a character to identify with he would write one. He is working on it, one problem, the character keeps changing and evolving. That is what it means to be a husband and a father. Add in obsessed no budget film producer and general self proclaimed expert and things can get a little weird.
A good husband is not always a good father and a good father is not always a good husband. A good film producer is rarely good at the other two at the same time. However if you are doing it right you manage to be pretty good at juggling, specially if you have a daughter.
You let yourself become whatever character they need that day, hour, minute, whatever they need when they need it and when you can muster it. We spend most of our time away from you trying to find ways to be your hero and have it be real and not some bullshit charade.
I understand why a lot of guys drink and have ways to get the fuck out of the house from time to time. It is a tough job and it goes completely unnoticed if you are doing it right and it is all they bitch about when you fuck it up. Any man who tells you his family is not his greatest treasure, well that dude has no family or no soul.
I will take the single dude over the soulless dude any day.
I guess the character I personally identify with the most, Tony Stark. I got the skills and the tools and why should I hide it and why does it piss everyone off when I flaunt it. Oh did I mention the narcissist part of me that never went away. I am a salesman these days in my getting paid life so it goes with that character. I hide very little from family, but what I do try to hide is the times their hero falls and needs to be picked back up. This group, they do a damn good job, it's why I work so hard to be their hero.
Now that we are here at the end, if I was to really be honest and get personal and bare my dirty little secrets, I would say these days I would identify much closer to the THE MOVIE HERO with Jeremy Sisto then any other.
All hail the movie gods, I hope they find this shit entertaining.
Til the next time I get bored and have the time to kill,
C-Ya!
Why?
He does personal well and has no problem baring himself through his films, in fact it his hobby and they paid him a few times for it. Genius.
Anyway back to the good stuff now that I have removed my tongue from Kevin's asshole.
CLERKS is personal for him. Anyone that has ever been a clerk anywhere can relate to this movie on a personal level and will spend the rest of the night telling their friends stories after the first time they see this flick.
For me though, the most personal character, Holden McNeil/Banky Edwards hands down. I was those guys. You could ask my first wife and I bet first she would tell you she hopes I am dead and then she would say yes I was the two of them blended into one dude. I'm like to cover all the bases and choose when to behave well and when to behave badly and I love the latter.
What happens when that guy is staring at his 39th birth day in around 6 weeks, well...
...that guy is married. If he was too look for a character to identify with he would write one. He is working on it, one problem, the character keeps changing and evolving. That is what it means to be a husband and a father. Add in obsessed no budget film producer and general self proclaimed expert and things can get a little weird.
A good husband is not always a good father and a good father is not always a good husband. A good film producer is rarely good at the other two at the same time. However if you are doing it right you manage to be pretty good at juggling, specially if you have a daughter.
You let yourself become whatever character they need that day, hour, minute, whatever they need when they need it and when you can muster it. We spend most of our time away from you trying to find ways to be your hero and have it be real and not some bullshit charade.
I understand why a lot of guys drink and have ways to get the fuck out of the house from time to time. It is a tough job and it goes completely unnoticed if you are doing it right and it is all they bitch about when you fuck it up. Any man who tells you his family is not his greatest treasure, well that dude has no family or no soul.
I will take the single dude over the soulless dude any day.
I guess the character I personally identify with the most, Tony Stark. I got the skills and the tools and why should I hide it and why does it piss everyone off when I flaunt it. Oh did I mention the narcissist part of me that never went away. I am a salesman these days in my getting paid life so it goes with that character. I hide very little from family, but what I do try to hide is the times their hero falls and needs to be picked back up. This group, they do a damn good job, it's why I work so hard to be their hero.
Now that we are here at the end, if I was to really be honest and get personal and bare my dirty little secrets, I would say these days I would identify much closer to the THE MOVIE HERO with Jeremy Sisto then any other.
All hail the movie gods, I hope they find this shit entertaining.
Til the next time I get bored and have the time to kill,
C-Ya!
Telling a personal story
...is the best way to start your journey towards making a good film.
ALMOST FAMOUS was semi autobiographical and according to my wife one of the top movies I watch repeatedly. She knows me well.
The story grabs you becasue it is so personal. Ask any story teller, I don;t care if they call themselves a bar tender, a cab driver, a comedian, a film maker, a musician, a mother, a father, a brother, a sister or anybody else because I don,t want to keep typing, what makes the best stories?
I bet they say the personal ones, the stories that can sometimes be the hardest to tell or the hardest to hear. Sometimes those personal stories are quite embarrassing. Sometimes they can be quite dark. Personal stories are what make us human, we are each nothing more than a collection of personal stories and who we choose to share them with says more about us than it does them.
Think about it for a while and I bet you agree. If not, oh well, it's my show.
ALMOST FAMOUS was semi autobiographical and according to my wife one of the top movies I watch repeatedly. She knows me well.
The story grabs you becasue it is so personal. Ask any story teller, I don;t care if they call themselves a bar tender, a cab driver, a comedian, a film maker, a musician, a mother, a father, a brother, a sister or anybody else because I don,t want to keep typing, what makes the best stories?
I bet they say the personal ones, the stories that can sometimes be the hardest to tell or the hardest to hear. Sometimes those personal stories are quite embarrassing. Sometimes they can be quite dark. Personal stories are what make us human, we are each nothing more than a collection of personal stories and who we choose to share them with says more about us than it does them.
Think about it for a while and I bet you agree. If not, oh well, it's my show.
Art for arts sake
I talk a lot, no really I do, I swear.
Ask Marco some time, he won't shut up about it.
I like to talk about the art of story telling through the medium of film as much as I can get away with. It is like talking to an astrophysicist, they want to tell you everything they know about it.
That's all any of us is, a person looking to tell you everything we know.
Look at me here trying to tell you everything I know about film.
How about this, how about today, you just accept I know my shit and you ask me some shit you want to know about as it applies to telling stories and doing it artfully in the medium of film?
I will be around.
Have fun.
C-Ya
Ask Marco some time, he won't shut up about it.
I like to talk about the art of story telling through the medium of film as much as I can get away with. It is like talking to an astrophysicist, they want to tell you everything they know about it.
That's all any of us is, a person looking to tell you everything we know.
Look at me here trying to tell you everything I know about film.
How about this, how about today, you just accept I know my shit and you ask me some shit you want to know about as it applies to telling stories and doing it artfully in the medium of film?
I will be around.
Have fun.
C-Ya
Saturday, July 20, 2013
Wasting the day away
After all mine is a life wasted on film.
Saturday and Sunday were the days for catching old movies in syndication. Living in a smaller town and not a big city, the channel options are limited.
Back in the day it was all about KBHK 44 out of San Francisco. When I was a kid, at 10:00 am was the start of Chiller Diller theater and classic monster movies such as Godzilla (All of them), Dracula Vs Billy the Kid, The Mummy and many others. After that, who knows. I did spend many a Saturday watching films such as, Saturn 3, Soylent Green, Logan's Run, Planet of the Apes (all of them) and others. I was 8 the first time I saw Soylent Green, quite the concept for an 8 year old mind to absorb, same with a lot of the high concept stuff I used to watch as a kid.
It is probably why even now I will watch something that makes you think, just so I can relax. During the week at school I was grabbing books on martial arts history and even read Bruce Lee's book in the 4th grade. It was reading the book that drove me to watch any and every martial arts movie I could get my hands on.
I remember the Ninja movies that hit the states and all of a sudden on Saturday, my monsters were replaced with kung fu and I loved it. I find bad kung fu movies to be some of the more entertaining flicks for brain melting and playing my favorite game. I love to play MST3K, hell I was playing it before I had heard of it. Go ahead and look it up, I'll wait.
Are you back yet?
Good, let's continue.
As I was growing older what was coming on during the weekends was changing as well. We started getting syndicated TV shows such as, Small Wonder, My Secret Identity, Out of this World, She's the Sheriff and others and gone were my movies. I watched so many movies as a kid becasue well, there was nothing else to watch. This is when HBO became my best friend.
When the guide would come in the mail I would sit and plan out my movie watching for the month. I knew what I wanted to watch and when it was going to be on and how many times. I loved the days when it seemed that I wanted to see everything they were running that day. Those were magic days for a kid of 12. These weekends got filled with films such as Killer Klowns from Outer Space, Grease, Xanadu, It's a Mad Mad Mad Mad World (I don,t care if I missed one or added one.), Cannonball Run and others.
Then came USA and TBS. We had Up All Night with Rhonda Shear and the worst horror movies most people would never sit through and every single one of us got sick and fucking tired of watching Beastmaster on the weekends. Didn't that dude do V? Actually if you want to see a brilliant piece of work from Marc Singer, watch IF YOU COULD SEE WHAT I HEAR. I am not exaggerating, his performance is incredible. Go watch it now.
I actually watched Sorority Babes at the Slimbowlarama because I was 14 and I thought I might see a nipple. At 14 that is a reason to do anything, anything. At 38, well depends on who is home.
I say I waste my life on film, but really for me it the only place a lonely kid who didn't have anyone to talk to could find a few friends and it is where I keep finding them even to this day. Movies are my best friends always have been. Do you expect anything less from The Movie Whore, I mean really?
Saturday and Sunday were the days for catching old movies in syndication. Living in a smaller town and not a big city, the channel options are limited.
Back in the day it was all about KBHK 44 out of San Francisco. When I was a kid, at 10:00 am was the start of Chiller Diller theater and classic monster movies such as Godzilla (All of them), Dracula Vs Billy the Kid, The Mummy and many others. After that, who knows. I did spend many a Saturday watching films such as, Saturn 3, Soylent Green, Logan's Run, Planet of the Apes (all of them) and others. I was 8 the first time I saw Soylent Green, quite the concept for an 8 year old mind to absorb, same with a lot of the high concept stuff I used to watch as a kid.
It is probably why even now I will watch something that makes you think, just so I can relax. During the week at school I was grabbing books on martial arts history and even read Bruce Lee's book in the 4th grade. It was reading the book that drove me to watch any and every martial arts movie I could get my hands on.
I remember the Ninja movies that hit the states and all of a sudden on Saturday, my monsters were replaced with kung fu and I loved it. I find bad kung fu movies to be some of the more entertaining flicks for brain melting and playing my favorite game. I love to play MST3K, hell I was playing it before I had heard of it. Go ahead and look it up, I'll wait.
Are you back yet?
Good, let's continue.
As I was growing older what was coming on during the weekends was changing as well. We started getting syndicated TV shows such as, Small Wonder, My Secret Identity, Out of this World, She's the Sheriff and others and gone were my movies. I watched so many movies as a kid becasue well, there was nothing else to watch. This is when HBO became my best friend.
When the guide would come in the mail I would sit and plan out my movie watching for the month. I knew what I wanted to watch and when it was going to be on and how many times. I loved the days when it seemed that I wanted to see everything they were running that day. Those were magic days for a kid of 12. These weekends got filled with films such as Killer Klowns from Outer Space, Grease, Xanadu, It's a Mad Mad Mad Mad World (I don,t care if I missed one or added one.), Cannonball Run and others.
Then came USA and TBS. We had Up All Night with Rhonda Shear and the worst horror movies most people would never sit through and every single one of us got sick and fucking tired of watching Beastmaster on the weekends. Didn't that dude do V? Actually if you want to see a brilliant piece of work from Marc Singer, watch IF YOU COULD SEE WHAT I HEAR. I am not exaggerating, his performance is incredible. Go watch it now.
I actually watched Sorority Babes at the Slimbowlarama because I was 14 and I thought I might see a nipple. At 14 that is a reason to do anything, anything. At 38, well depends on who is home.
I say I waste my life on film, but really for me it the only place a lonely kid who didn't have anyone to talk to could find a few friends and it is where I keep finding them even to this day. Movies are my best friends always have been. Do you expect anything less from The Movie Whore, I mean really?
Friday, July 19, 2013
Why it still works part 1
There are some movies I can watch over and over and over and over and over and over and over again.
Why?
What is is about some films that makes them ever watchable?
I think we are going to have to study this film by film to really get an clearer view of just what the hell is going here.
Let's start with CLERKS. #8 on my all time list
This one has a personal touch for me. I lived this movie is a twisted kind of way. I worked in at Ray's Video next door to Ray's Liquor in Chico, Ca. I didn't have a girlfriend bring me lasagna, but I had a stalker come in so she could talk to me more than once. No one died in the bathroom, but I damn near killed somebody after one too many "I am looking for that movie with that guy in it..." You know it was the same but totally different. Actually one of my favorite moments was when the sorority girls would come to the counter asking for porn and I would say as loud as I could without actually yelling "We don't carry porn here, try..."
It was hard to do with a straight face. I got a bit of a Randal streak and that job, one of my all time favorites. I liked going to work. I am not sure I have ever since.
Who has never made a generalization about broads that went horribly wrong?
You also have to love the illustration of how double standards work. He's a slut for having sex and she's a slut for not but giving the one gratification all men desire.
I mean this is important shit here.
"The guy ain't here yet."
I can't tell you how many times I wanted to have that conversation with a customer.
"How many times did that girl cheat on you?"
"8 1/2"
Just the mere idea of using this concept in a film is one that I only see in this film. The story that explains the half is fantastic.
We did not carry porn so I never got to make the poan order in front of a parent, however...
One year on Christmas Day I was single, my parents live in town, I volunteered to work so others could go hang with family. I put on LETHAL WEAPON, hey it takes place at Christmas. Anyway this woman walks up and cpomplains about her kids being able to see the film and my repsonse was something like this.
"Oh, I am sorry, I am working here on Christmas away from my family so you and yours can come rent some movies."
Blank stare, open jaw, didn't say another word about it.
Same day.
"Hey how you doing?"
"Good and you?"
"Well it's Christmas and I'm working"
"um...uh...uh...I'm sorry."
I am a prick, I love to fuck with people. Randal Graves sums that spirit up nicely and always helps me keep in touch with that part of me.
Then we meet Olaf the metal head Russian.
"What's the name of his band?"
"Fuck You Yankee Blue Jeans"
"That doesn't sound very metal."
I love this part of the movie, gives me a giggle every time. When Olaf sings Berzerker, oh it's fun alright.
"That's beautiful man."
The next scene has what I deem to be the greatest philosophical debate film has ever seen. The debate of whether or not the destruction of the second death star was moral or not, complete with a practical experience example to settle the debate, Tarantino wishes he wrote this scene. Best dialog ever. Watch it and if you disagree, 1 you're wrong, 2 see 1, 3 I am The Move Whore that's who.
The point I want to get to here is this. The reason this film is so watchable, no matter how many times I watch, is the personal connections I can make to my own life.
If you can't connect to the story, how can you be entertained by it?
Why does my connection with CLERKS work?
The same reason my connection with my wife works, it's personal and it's deep and a part of who I am as much as I am a part of myself.
If you ever want to understand your connection to a film, try understanding yourself and your connections to others and I think you just may be surprised.
Why?
What is is about some films that makes them ever watchable?
I think we are going to have to study this film by film to really get an clearer view of just what the hell is going here.
Let's start with CLERKS. #8 on my all time list
This one has a personal touch for me. I lived this movie is a twisted kind of way. I worked in at Ray's Video next door to Ray's Liquor in Chico, Ca. I didn't have a girlfriend bring me lasagna, but I had a stalker come in so she could talk to me more than once. No one died in the bathroom, but I damn near killed somebody after one too many "I am looking for that movie with that guy in it..." You know it was the same but totally different. Actually one of my favorite moments was when the sorority girls would come to the counter asking for porn and I would say as loud as I could without actually yelling "We don't carry porn here, try..."
It was hard to do with a straight face. I got a bit of a Randal streak and that job, one of my all time favorites. I liked going to work. I am not sure I have ever since.
Who has never made a generalization about broads that went horribly wrong?
You also have to love the illustration of how double standards work. He's a slut for having sex and she's a slut for not but giving the one gratification all men desire.
I mean this is important shit here.
"The guy ain't here yet."
I can't tell you how many times I wanted to have that conversation with a customer.
"How many times did that girl cheat on you?"
"8 1/2"
Just the mere idea of using this concept in a film is one that I only see in this film. The story that explains the half is fantastic.
We did not carry porn so I never got to make the poan order in front of a parent, however...
One year on Christmas Day I was single, my parents live in town, I volunteered to work so others could go hang with family. I put on LETHAL WEAPON, hey it takes place at Christmas. Anyway this woman walks up and cpomplains about her kids being able to see the film and my repsonse was something like this.
"Oh, I am sorry, I am working here on Christmas away from my family so you and yours can come rent some movies."
Blank stare, open jaw, didn't say another word about it.
Same day.
"Hey how you doing?"
"Good and you?"
"Well it's Christmas and I'm working"
"um...uh...uh...I'm sorry."
I am a prick, I love to fuck with people. Randal Graves sums that spirit up nicely and always helps me keep in touch with that part of me.
Then we meet Olaf the metal head Russian.
"What's the name of his band?"
"Fuck You Yankee Blue Jeans"
"That doesn't sound very metal."
I love this part of the movie, gives me a giggle every time. When Olaf sings Berzerker, oh it's fun alright.
"That's beautiful man."
The next scene has what I deem to be the greatest philosophical debate film has ever seen. The debate of whether or not the destruction of the second death star was moral or not, complete with a practical experience example to settle the debate, Tarantino wishes he wrote this scene. Best dialog ever. Watch it and if you disagree, 1 you're wrong, 2 see 1, 3 I am The Move Whore that's who.
The point I want to get to here is this. The reason this film is so watchable, no matter how many times I watch, is the personal connections I can make to my own life.
If you can't connect to the story, how can you be entertained by it?
Why does my connection with CLERKS work?
The same reason my connection with my wife works, it's personal and it's deep and a part of who I am as much as I am a part of myself.
If you ever want to understand your connection to a film, try understanding yourself and your connections to others and I think you just may be surprised.
Thursday, July 18, 2013
The film makers you should be looking for part 1
Paranormal Schoolgirls
Go ahead and click the link, I assure you it doesn't go to a porn site. I'm not that kind of whore.
However the two woman you will find are showing off more than their looks, these two are showing it does not take much more than a will to find a way.
Don't get me wrong, If I was single, I would plotting and scheming on how to find my way into this threesome. I know I should behave myself, but I am The Movie Whore and that comes with a certain amount of window dressing.
Just roll with it people.
What really impressed me is the unapologetic way they have embraced this project. It takes courage to do what they are doing and to do it on your own like this is not as easy as it looks. In fact I would invite you to follow them on facebook and maybe ask them yourselves to see what it take to do what they do.
Go ahead and click the link, I assure you it doesn't go to a porn site. I'm not that kind of whore.
However the two woman you will find are showing off more than their looks, these two are showing it does not take much more than a will to find a way.
Don't get me wrong, If I was single, I would plotting and scheming on how to find my way into this threesome. I know I should behave myself, but I am The Movie Whore and that comes with a certain amount of window dressing.
Just roll with it people.
What really impressed me is the unapologetic way they have embraced this project. It takes courage to do what they are doing and to do it on your own like this is not as easy as it looks. In fact I would invite you to follow them on facebook and maybe ask them yourselves to see what it take to do what they do.
Wednesday, July 17, 2013
Science fiction and the end of the world
Scifi movies have been pontificating the end of the world since we started making movies. Hell since we started telling stories we have been telling stories of where we began and how it ends on a regular.
We have a fascination with the the alpha and omega, the end and the beginning.
We are living in the middle or maybe we are at the end of a beginning or the beginning of the end, but where ever we are we should not forget that sometimes movies can teach us some valuable lessons about what things to avoid in the future. Here are some of those lessons.
Do not let the machine think.
I could grab random clips, but come one now. Here's a good starting list of movies that illustrate this wonderfully.
War Games
Terminator
Matrix
Two of these spawned sequels, So I think we can agree that a thinking machine is bad.
WELL THAN SOMEONE TELL THESE FUCKERS!
Then there are the films that deal with the absence of food and water.
Road Warrior
Tank Girl
Ice Pirates
Soylent Green (oh yeah, it's people alright.)
Then realize that corporations are trying to privatize water. Look at Monsanto, how long before we find out they using dead bodies to grow shit.
It could be illness mental and physical.
Andromeda Strain
Resident Evil
Equlibrium
Pick a zombie flick
Then realize the most fucked up shit on this planet was created in a lab to kill somebody in a war. Oh how evolved we are.
It could be aliens.
Alien
War of the Worlds
Invasion of the Body Snatchers
Puppet Masters
Stargate
Contact
Last Starfighter
I always dug these angles. I mean humans being the only ones out here or the most evolved just seems, well I am not sure if it is more fucking ignorant or more fucking arrogant or completely fucking ignorant and arrogant and a reason to consider population control.
Was that harsh?
Fuck it, this is my show not yours.
And this is where our show ends for this episode. Come back next time when I write something else.
We have a fascination with the the alpha and omega, the end and the beginning.
We are living in the middle or maybe we are at the end of a beginning or the beginning of the end, but where ever we are we should not forget that sometimes movies can teach us some valuable lessons about what things to avoid in the future. Here are some of those lessons.
Do not let the machine think.
I could grab random clips, but come one now. Here's a good starting list of movies that illustrate this wonderfully.
War Games
Terminator
Matrix
Two of these spawned sequels, So I think we can agree that a thinking machine is bad.
WELL THAN SOMEONE TELL THESE FUCKERS!
Then there are the films that deal with the absence of food and water.
Road Warrior
Tank Girl
Ice Pirates
Soylent Green (oh yeah, it's people alright.)
Then realize that corporations are trying to privatize water. Look at Monsanto, how long before we find out they using dead bodies to grow shit.
It could be illness mental and physical.
Andromeda Strain
Resident Evil
Equlibrium
Pick a zombie flick
Then realize the most fucked up shit on this planet was created in a lab to kill somebody in a war. Oh how evolved we are.
It could be aliens.
Alien
War of the Worlds
Invasion of the Body Snatchers
Puppet Masters
Stargate
Contact
Last Starfighter
I always dug these angles. I mean humans being the only ones out here or the most evolved just seems, well I am not sure if it is more fucking ignorant or more fucking arrogant or completely fucking ignorant and arrogant and a reason to consider population control.
Was that harsh?
Fuck it, this is my show not yours.
And this is where our show ends for this episode. Come back next time when I write something else.
Friday, July 12, 2013
FTW?
Seriously,
I'm sitting here today not sure whether to ask "What the fuck?" or say "Fuck the what?"
It is a bit perplexing. You see I heard that it was Friday and that I was not going to be going to a theater anytime soon. It confused me, so I decided to ask myself about it and here is what the conversation looked like. (This is going to be fun kids, trust me, this is what I do.)
Dude?
What?
It's Friday, let's hit the theater.
Fuck you!
What the fuck!?
Do you fucking remember the last time we went to a theater, do you really fucktard?
Oh yeah.
Oh yeah is right bitch boy.
So you want to tell these fuckers what happened or should I you sperm burping gutter slut.
What the fuck, that was uncalled for but really I have heard so much worse from so much better.
Touche
You can stop with the name calling asshole.
I said touche not douche dumb ass.
So can we get the fuck on with the problem with the theaters now you crazy prick mother fucker?
I guess so.
Well kids now that we have gotten our collective shit together, for now, the real problem I have with going to the theater, well let's hit the list and see what's there.
1. WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS COMMERCIAL BULLSHIT YOU COCK SUCKING GREEDY MONEY WHORE ASSHOLES!
I get it, The Movie Whore calls some one else a whore, kind of like the pot calling the kettle black, I could go some places with this but in interest of not being called a racist asshole I will stop here, but let the jokes play in your mind.
You are so welcome for the 14 year old giggling you should be doing now.
I go to movies so I don't have to watch commercials. I enjoy film so I dn't have to be bombarded by advertisements that slowly turn me into a drooling zombie like creature doing nothing but buying useless shit.
Note: Certain strains of marijuana have been known to illicit this same effect, only I wind up at 7/11 saying shit like "I'll take one."
"One of what?"
"Everything"
Be careful how you medicate.
Next is the fucking price.
2. I CAN BUY MOVIES FOR LESS THAN I CAN GO TO THE MOVIES FOR YOU FUCKING BASTARDS!
Not to mention if you have no problem with it you can get the cam version on line for free. So why are tickets so expensive. Because it costs to god damn much to make these fucking things. However if some forward thinking motherfuckers out there want to change the industry, try this shit on for size and tell me how it fits.
Everyone gets paid. Little if any upfront money. You work for what the film makes. No big star contracts, no big salaries for anyone. Everyone owns a piece of it and every one gets paid on it. This includes the dude who turned a screwdriver for a couple days.
I know fucking insane isn't it. To put greed aside for the sake of art and then sharing it with everyone who had something to do with that art. I don;t know it seems to make sense to me. I share a lot of the credit for anything I do with my wife first and anyone else involved second. If was not for her support do you think I would be doing this shit?
I am just saying, don;t just give them a spot in the credits, give them an ongoing piece of the film, let everyone own it. What gives you the right to be so selfish?
I want answers on that one and be prepared for a nice little debate and I will be as ice as you are. The moment you get ugly, well you saw how I talk to myself and I love me, how do you think I might talk to you?(Just think, half show half real, guess which half is which?)
This is fun.
I like cheese.
Back to the show.
The Movies themselves leave little to be desired.
They are not worth the price. I take my wife to the show and I am spending $40 easy on a film that might suck donkey balls or that I may like and she may give the donkey to suck on for a while or she loves it and I am trying desperately to resist the urge to stick hot pokers in my own eyes and stab my ears to make the pain and the horror go away.
I would rather give the $40 to a crack whore and then walk turn around and walk away. At least with the crack whore I can give up the money and still not get fucked by a diseased used up human being that seems to describe most Hollywood directors. I mean I would actually rather fuck a crack whore(yes I have met one before and no I did not fuck her) than sit through some of the shit that gets passed of as film.
The people I blame the most are the stupid motherfuckers who keep going to the fucking theater to see this fucking shit.
Just stop going, it's that fucking easy. I go to one film a year. It is usually for my sons birthday, if I hit 2 it is for my daughter. We spend $100 on the outing.
Tell me the last movie you saw worth $100 in one shot.
Put it on perspective people. The theaters get very little of the box office cash when they should be getting at least a 30% draw from the box office receipts.
Think of what you are spending and how to spend it on better art, that's really what I am getting to. Find something good, see something that got no hype. find something free from commercials, find a film, not just some random fucking movie. Make the theater mean something again. Make it the sacred holy temple to cinema it once was.
They have tainted the temple and now I want to burn it down.
All hail the Movie Gods, may their greatness be restored, kneel and bow and give homage to the gods of film or be srtuck down dear mortals.
Nah.
I think I am just going to say this.
If you really want to see it, make sure it is worth it, because more than the money, you are going to lose time that could have been spent better and time you will never get back. It is the time that has the value and show them that you value your time and make them give us better ways to spend our time getting lost in the worlds they create for us.
Demand better worlds to explore kids, demand it, scream it with every once of desire and emotion you can summon and I bet they will hear us, if enough of us cry out.
Then again I may just be a foolish little man with dreams too big for the real world. Maybe that's why I am The Move Whore and you're not.
Have fun
I'm sitting here today not sure whether to ask "What the fuck?" or say "Fuck the what?"
It is a bit perplexing. You see I heard that it was Friday and that I was not going to be going to a theater anytime soon. It confused me, so I decided to ask myself about it and here is what the conversation looked like. (This is going to be fun kids, trust me, this is what I do.)
Dude?
What?
It's Friday, let's hit the theater.
Fuck you!
What the fuck!?
Do you fucking remember the last time we went to a theater, do you really fucktard?
Oh yeah.
Oh yeah is right bitch boy.
So you want to tell these fuckers what happened or should I you sperm burping gutter slut.
What the fuck, that was uncalled for but really I have heard so much worse from so much better.
Touche
You can stop with the name calling asshole.
I said touche not douche dumb ass.
So can we get the fuck on with the problem with the theaters now you crazy prick mother fucker?
I guess so.
Well kids now that we have gotten our collective shit together, for now, the real problem I have with going to the theater, well let's hit the list and see what's there.
1. WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS COMMERCIAL BULLSHIT YOU COCK SUCKING GREEDY MONEY WHORE ASSHOLES!
I get it, The Movie Whore calls some one else a whore, kind of like the pot calling the kettle black, I could go some places with this but in interest of not being called a racist asshole I will stop here, but let the jokes play in your mind.
You are so welcome for the 14 year old giggling you should be doing now.
I go to movies so I don't have to watch commercials. I enjoy film so I dn't have to be bombarded by advertisements that slowly turn me into a drooling zombie like creature doing nothing but buying useless shit.
Note: Certain strains of marijuana have been known to illicit this same effect, only I wind up at 7/11 saying shit like "I'll take one."
"One of what?"
"Everything"
Be careful how you medicate.
Next is the fucking price.
2. I CAN BUY MOVIES FOR LESS THAN I CAN GO TO THE MOVIES FOR YOU FUCKING BASTARDS!
Not to mention if you have no problem with it you can get the cam version on line for free. So why are tickets so expensive. Because it costs to god damn much to make these fucking things. However if some forward thinking motherfuckers out there want to change the industry, try this shit on for size and tell me how it fits.
Everyone gets paid. Little if any upfront money. You work for what the film makes. No big star contracts, no big salaries for anyone. Everyone owns a piece of it and every one gets paid on it. This includes the dude who turned a screwdriver for a couple days.
I know fucking insane isn't it. To put greed aside for the sake of art and then sharing it with everyone who had something to do with that art. I don;t know it seems to make sense to me. I share a lot of the credit for anything I do with my wife first and anyone else involved second. If was not for her support do you think I would be doing this shit?
I am just saying, don;t just give them a spot in the credits, give them an ongoing piece of the film, let everyone own it. What gives you the right to be so selfish?
I want answers on that one and be prepared for a nice little debate and I will be as ice as you are. The moment you get ugly, well you saw how I talk to myself and I love me, how do you think I might talk to you?(Just think, half show half real, guess which half is which?)
This is fun.
I like cheese.
Back to the show.
The Movies themselves leave little to be desired.
They are not worth the price. I take my wife to the show and I am spending $40 easy on a film that might suck donkey balls or that I may like and she may give the donkey to suck on for a while or she loves it and I am trying desperately to resist the urge to stick hot pokers in my own eyes and stab my ears to make the pain and the horror go away.
I would rather give the $40 to a crack whore and then walk turn around and walk away. At least with the crack whore I can give up the money and still not get fucked by a diseased used up human being that seems to describe most Hollywood directors. I mean I would actually rather fuck a crack whore(yes I have met one before and no I did not fuck her) than sit through some of the shit that gets passed of as film.
The people I blame the most are the stupid motherfuckers who keep going to the fucking theater to see this fucking shit.
Just stop going, it's that fucking easy. I go to one film a year. It is usually for my sons birthday, if I hit 2 it is for my daughter. We spend $100 on the outing.
Tell me the last movie you saw worth $100 in one shot.
Put it on perspective people. The theaters get very little of the box office cash when they should be getting at least a 30% draw from the box office receipts.
Think of what you are spending and how to spend it on better art, that's really what I am getting to. Find something good, see something that got no hype. find something free from commercials, find a film, not just some random fucking movie. Make the theater mean something again. Make it the sacred holy temple to cinema it once was.
They have tainted the temple and now I want to burn it down.
All hail the Movie Gods, may their greatness be restored, kneel and bow and give homage to the gods of film or be srtuck down dear mortals.
Nah.
I think I am just going to say this.
If you really want to see it, make sure it is worth it, because more than the money, you are going to lose time that could have been spent better and time you will never get back. It is the time that has the value and show them that you value your time and make them give us better ways to spend our time getting lost in the worlds they create for us.
Demand better worlds to explore kids, demand it, scream it with every once of desire and emotion you can summon and I bet they will hear us, if enough of us cry out.
Then again I may just be a foolish little man with dreams too big for the real world. Maybe that's why I am The Move Whore and you're not.
Have fun
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