Why I am "The" Movie Whore

I have been commenting on this article over at Babeled and it got to me to thinking that I wanted to explain why I refer to myself as The Movie Whore. I am sure no one was wondering which is the number one reason to do it. Again this is my show and my warped brain. So her ewe go down the rabbit whole into the twisted and scary place that is my mind.

Qualifications to be considered a movie whore.

1. Must have received gonorrhea of the eye from watching movies that are so bad they should be outlawed. Examples: Including but not limited to Zombie Nation, any sequel to Attack of the Killer Tomatoes, Transmorphers, Alone in the Dark or any other Uwe Boll movie.
2. You know what a Troma movie is and you watch them avidly. Examples: Toxic Avenger 1-4 and the cartoon. Tromeo and Juliet, Sgt Kabuki Man NYPD, Terror Firmer, Surf Nazi's Must Die and others.
3. Must be able to cross genres with your knowledge. Examples: Christopher Reeves was not only Superman but also made a movie with Jane Seymour (Yummy) called Somewhere In Time. You know that Russel Crowe worked with Denzel Washington prior to their latest theatrical outing and you know the name of the movie. Worth 5 cookies.
4. Know obscure shit. Examples: Christopher Lambert is a master swordsman that is nearly legally blind. Ellen Barkin was once in the Porn industry. Rebecca Demornay has a doctorate in Psychology. The Last Starfighter was the first movie to extensively use CGI and the technology was originally pithed to George Lucas for for the original Star Wars.
5. You own Xanadu. I do.
6. You have worked or currently work at a video store because you wanted to. Examples: I have done this twice. I actually worked in a video called Ray's video that had the most complete collection of movies in California and was next door to Ray's Liquor. So yes the original Clerks spoke to me on a very personal level. I can walk into a room and within 5 seconds name the movie on the TV even if I have not seen it. Give me the plot and I can name just about any movie that has come out in the 30 years. 5 cookies to anyone that can stump me. Using IMDB is cheating.
7. You know the movie this quote was used in. "No matter where you go, there you are." 5 Cookies to anyone that can name it with out looking it up and 5 more for being able to name 5 actors in the movie without having to look it up.
8. You thought the argument over whether or not destroying the second Death Star was morally wrong was one of the most brilliant things you have ever seen.
9. You re-watch movies you know are bad just because it has been a while since you have seen it. Examples: Refer to this article I wrote a while back.
10. You own or would like to own the following movies: Including but not limited to Ice Pirates, Big Trouble in Little China, My Big Fat Independent Movie, Xanadu, Starship Troopers, The entire Kevin Smith Collection, entire Mel Brooks collection, entire Monty Python collection, Any Godzilla movie that does not star Matthew Broderick, Far Out Man, The Last Star Fighter, Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure and Bogus Journey, and the Evil Dead Trilogy.
11. Lastly Bruce Campbell is one of your personal heroes.

I hope this clears things up a bit. I had a lot of fun writing this and did it with out having to look anything up. So it is with all confidence that I once again proclaim that I am The Movie Whore.

Why it still works part 1

There are some movies I can watch over and over and over and over and over and over and over again.

Why?

What is is about some films that makes them ever watchable?

I think we are going to have to study this film by film to really get an clearer view of just what the hell is going here.

Let's start with CLERKS. #8 on my all time list



This one has a personal touch for me. I lived this movie is a twisted kind of way. I worked in at Ray's Video next door to Ray's Liquor in Chico, Ca. I didn't have a girlfriend bring me lasagna, but I had a stalker come in so she could talk to me more than once.  No one died in the bathroom, but I damn near killed somebody after one too many "I am looking for that movie with that guy in it..." You know it was the same but totally different. Actually one of my favorite moments was when the sorority girls would come to the counter asking for porn and I would say as loud as I could without actually yelling "We don't carry porn here, try..."

It was hard to do with a straight face. I got a bit of a Randal streak and that job, one of my all time favorites. I liked going to work. I am not sure I have ever since.

Who has never made a generalization about broads that went horribly wrong?

You also have to love the illustration of how double standards work. He's a slut for having sex and she's a slut for not but giving the one gratification all men desire. 

I mean this is important shit here.

"The guy ain't here yet."

I can't tell you how many times I wanted to have that conversation with a customer.

"How many times did that girl cheat on you?"

"8 1/2"

Just the mere idea of using this concept in a film is one that I only see in this film. The story that explains the half is fantastic.

We did not carry porn so I never got to make the poan order in front of a parent, however...

One year on Christmas Day I was single, my parents live in town, I volunteered to work so others could go hang with family. I put on LETHAL WEAPON, hey it takes place at Christmas. Anyway this woman walks up and cpomplains about her kids being able to see the film and my repsonse was something like this.

"Oh, I am sorry, I am working here on Christmas away from my family so you and yours can come rent some movies."

Blank stare, open jaw, didn't say another word about it.

Same day.

"Hey how you doing?"

"Good and you?"

"Well it's Christmas and I'm working"

"um...uh...uh...I'm sorry."

I am a prick, I love to fuck with people. Randal Graves sums that spirit up nicely and always helps me keep in touch with that part of me.

Then we meet Olaf the metal head Russian. 

"What's the name of his band?"

"Fuck You Yankee Blue Jeans"

"That doesn't sound very metal."

I love this part of the movie, gives me a giggle every time. When Olaf sings Berzerker, oh it's fun alright.

"That's beautiful man."

The next scene has what I deem to be the greatest philosophical debate film has ever seen. The debate of whether or not the destruction of the second death star was moral or not, complete with a practical experience example to settle the debate, Tarantino wishes he wrote this scene. Best dialog ever. Watch it and if you disagree, 1 you're wrong, 2 see 1, 3 I am The Move Whore that's who.

The point I want to get to here is this. The reason this film is so watchable, no matter how many times I watch, is the personal connections I can make to my own life.

If you can't connect to the story, how can you be entertained by it?

Why does my connection with CLERKS work?

The same reason my connection with my wife works, it's personal and it's deep and a part of who I am as much as I am a part of myself.

If you ever want to understand your connection to a film, try understanding yourself and your connections to others and I think you just may be surprised.

It cames from the 90's

Really the 90's was my decade. I miss it. Just ask my wife.

Let's take a look at one of my favorite films from the 90's. I will come back to this topic from time to time. Let's just say I like to make the ADHD work for me.

Let's start with my #2 90's flick from my list on Flickchart, SWIMMING WITH SHARKS.

I am obsessed with film and making films. Obsessed is putting it lightly. It would be more accurate to say I am so consumed by desire to be making movies, I sit here and write about them while helping people you have never heard of make movies you really have to look for to find.

SWIMMING WITH SHARKS is not about that kind of work. It is however a brilliantly dark look into the world of the film studio.

This is one of those films that I will watch any time. I never get tired of it. Here is why.

Kevin Spacey is one of the more gifted actors I have ever seen, forget generation. His performance as a Sr VP at film studio who is nothing short of the one of the most tyrannical bosses I have ever seen, is flawless as usual for this incredibly gifted artist. Let's say I'm glad I did have to deal with this guy in basic training. He makes my T.I's look like pussycats.


As a personal assistant to one of the most powerful men in Hollywood your, life is not your own. You become a slave to your boss.

His new intern is portrayed by the ever underrated Frank Whaley. This is an early film for him and he shines as the lackey who gets repeatedly kicked in the teeth by a boss who will tell you Tuesday is Wednesday and you better agree and then he will verbally bitch slap you for agreeing. (Oh and if anyone catches the other film reference in the last sentence, you poor soul.) While trying to please the unpleasable boss he is also an aspiring writer (I know it's cliche bit go with it they did a great job.) and trying to maintain a love life with a woman who has bigger balls than he does.

The film starts where it ends. Our plucky hero has had enough of later night script retrievals, finding bimbos for the boss to boff and other abuse. He has shown up to torture him for the night. While torturing his boss we get a series of flashbacks to explain why this poor wretched soul has taken to this desperate action.

When the film ends you may be surprised by the direction they took, but if you really stop and think about it you may see that it was the only way to be brutally honest and make an impact with the story. It is this punch in the chest kind of impact that the film starts with and hits you with repeatedly, almost daring you to think that some one may have or is currently enduring such a thing. 

The performances in this film reach in and grab you and pull you into the story. You experience it. Very few films achieve this level of connection with an audience. SWIMMING WITH SHARKS is not just one of my favorite films, it is damn good example of storytelling and all my ramblings about story and character. 

Telling a story using this flashback perspective can be difficult to pull off as it can leave the audience feeling disjointed and disconnected from the story. Director George Huang does a masterful job of overcoming this obstacle as the story unfolds seamlessly. Think of it as phrasing in musical terms. Every scene fits and every piece of dialog goes toward the progression of understanding the characters and progressing their stories and blending them together into a singular story that takes you by the balls and does not let go until it is over.

It is billed as a dark comedy and I would say that fits. It is dark, but then again ask anyone who has ever tried to make film or has ever made a film if the industry is light or dark and I would be willing to bet they would say that Lucifer himself is at the helm.

Well kids this The Movie Whore saying "Go watch this movie now motherfuckers!"

C-Ya