There is a Storm Brewing

A Blog Storm that is. Now on with the show.

I showed some one something once and they laughed, I punched the fucker out.

So I heard that smokers are an inconsiderate lot. I was reading an article where a woman was complaining about a smoker smoking outside. I got a little upset and ranted a bit. I am no martyr, I am a smoker. I also am a guy that doesn't take shit. What is it about smoking that people do not understand. Apparently it is a huge well kept secret that nicotine is known as one of the most addictive substances on the planet. More addictive than cocaine and heroine. Ever watch come one try to quit smoking. I have from the inside. Let me tell you it is no picnic. There is the anxiety, the urge to rip someones face off if it means you can have a cigarette, the absence of a sense of humor, the depression, the anger, the loss of patience for the stupidity that surrounds us all and an overwhelming urge to crawl into a whole and stay there until the withdrawals pass.

My girlfriend fears for my health but is afraid of what I would be like if I quit. Let me explain why. You see if I was hooked on coke or heroine or crack or meth or alcohol or a number of other substances there are laws in place that protect my employment if I check into rehab and go away for 6-8 weeks to recover from my addiction and get healthy. Smokers have a gum or a patch or a pill but are expected to be at work every day dealing with the stress with no opportunity to remove them selves to get healthy. If a smoker breaks from the withdrawals and and lashes out he will most likely lose his job even though nicotine is more addictive. I have tried a number of times using the patch, the gum and a pill. The patch did little and I would still have ripped your face off for a cigarette and that is not an attempt at humor. Sadly that is the cold hard truth. I tired the gum and had the same result. I tried a pill and for the first time in my life I thought about killing myself. I later found out that many others that had tried that particular pill had the same thoughts of suicide. Oh the pill is Welbutrin.

I know normally I give you sarcasm and wit. I make bad jokes and thumb my nose at people that get on a high horse. Each time I have tried to quit I have failed because frankly I am not stronger than the addiction. I am weak. Try admitting that in such a public forum.

Well now that I have that out of my system on to something completely different. I unfortunately am a fan of The Celebrity Apprentice and there is nothing sadder than watching a 6' 7" cowboy and a former heavy weight champion boxer go on a mission to buy nail polish for a back street boy. The lack of caps is intended. When they put out some music then I will consider giving them some respect. I am talking of course of Trace Adkins and Lennox Lewis. The poor bastards. Now I don't like country music but after watching this show you can't help but to respect a performer that has gone out on stage with kidney stones or has gone out on stage in unbelievable pain and then after the show had 18" of his colon removed. I can respect that. I don't like his music but I respect Trace Adkins as a performer.

I saw this ad for making a dildo mold out of my own member. Yeah I am going to leave you at that and let your imagination go wild. I somehow get the feeling that I would love to hear Crissy's opinion on that one in her blog especially since her husband likes to give her hell about the real doll. Sorry Crissy but it just popped into my mind and that is how this post is written.

Now that I have lost half of you the rest can read on.

Just popped my neck for the first time today and Oh my God did it feel good. It's been driving me crazy all day.

OK so Trace Adkins just said he could beat up the back street boys by himself and you know what I believe him.

Where was I. I forgot. Can some one help me out. Oh well next.

I was just thinking of the funny stories I read on other blogs and one story came to mind. My best friend comes from a long line of angry Irish. His stories of his grandfather are always good for laugh. My favorite is the time his cousin brought a black boyfriend home for the holidays. they walk in and she introduces her boyfriend to her grandfather who came here straight from Ireland. Now you have to imagine hearing this with a strong Irish accent. Grand Dad being Grand Dad asked the young man "So I see your black, how is that working out for you?"

This poor guy who really was a good guy gets this puzzled look on his face and answers "It's going fine for me sir."

"Ah that's good. So tell me I hear you black fellas are rather well endowed, is that true"

At this point my buddy and some of his other cousins are on the couch laughing hysterically. Which gets a response from his grandfather "Aye you little bastards shut the hell up before I come over and kick your asses." So they try to straighten up and he turns to the young man again and says "Well how about it is it true, I mean I want to know how well my grand daughter is being well taken care of."

The poor guy is frozen and unable to speak and this when my buddies cousin grabs her boyfriend and drags him off telling Grand Dad "Leave him alone. You don't need to know that."

This probably does not come across as very funny in type but to hear my buddy tell the story will have you in tears.

You know I just looked up and saw my girlfriend is watching porn. Good porn in fact. Damn I love that woman.

I may pay dearly for that. I know she reads this dribble once in a while and this could get me get me in trouble.

So the Dudes mom is picking him up in the morning. He spends 2 weeks with her and 2 weeks with me and so on. It works and as much as I feel guilty for it the first couple days I enjoy the peace but hen I start missing my Dude. Omarosa just came out. She is a such a skank. I am not looking forward to when it comes time for him to go to school. You see his mom lives 2 hours away and I am sure there will be a fight for custody once the time comes to see where he will go to school. It really is hard to type this while staying up with the TV show and when I glance over I can see the girlfriends monitor and she is still watching porn. But I know the fight for custody is probably going to be ugly and nasty. The person that is going to suffer the most is The Dude. I love my son and I work hard to try to be a good dad. Some days are better than others and I am sure every parent feels that way.

OK something else that pisses me off just showed up on the screen. The Movie Stop Loss is a fucking joke. I was in the Military and when you go into the military you acknowledge that even after service there is a period of time that you can be recalled to duty. So a movie about a guy fighting it is a movie about a fucking douche bag. I had this scare myself. I thought about what my options were. Then I realized the military had been upfront with me about this possibility. So when I hear some one challenge a commitment they made of their own free will I call that bastard a douche bag, I would even call him a worthless sack of flesh. End of discussion.

So I am a prick, sue me. I am also a ball of nerves I have a second interview tomorrow around 12:30pm. The owner that I had my interview with yesterday says I should enjoy talking with him. I am guessing he also is a football fan. That was about half my interview. We talked about the draft and this blog and hulu.com and how I single handedly brought Greg's office to a stand still with it's discovery.

Did I mention my girlfriend has good taste in porn. It is making it difficult to write this post. My eyes keep wondering up. Damn I am dedicated to writing this. I think I may be too dedicated. Well you kids have a great weekend I am going to go do some stuff.