Your friendly neighborhood Movie Whore here and I have been doing a lot of twitching lately. Why?
I have been seeing way too many remakes in production in Hollywood these days proving yet again that they have run out of ideas. I want to go through some of them and talk about why it is a bad idea. This all started with post from Michael Ott which I left lengthy comments on here. So with out further rambling let's jump in and find out what is going to be ruined in the near future.
Fantastic Voyage
Studio: Fox
Why it's a bad idea: Sure the original has has some the worst special effects ever but that was the cutting edge stuff back then. Besides they already remade this idea with the movie Innerspace starring Dennis Quaid and Martin Short. Sure it was a completely different story and that is why it worked. They took the same idea of putting a miniaturized manned vehicle in the human body but had the good sense to take the story in a completely different direction.
Barbarella
Studio: Universal
Why it may not be a bad idea: The guy attached to this flick is none other than Robert Rodriguez. If it was anyone else I would be twitching as I am typing this but because it is him I have a little faith. The original movie was a piece of crap that had viewers asking "What in the blue hell is going on?" But we did get to see Jane Fonda naked.
I can't say I love every thing he has done (not a Spy Kids fan) but you can not deny the man knows how to make cheese work. Just watch Planet Terror again. The concept for the film actually goes back to French graphic story published in 1962. I would like to see him ignore the first film and go straight from the original story.
Clash of the Titans
Studio: Warner Brothers
Why it is a bad idea but could have potential: I love the original claymation and all. In the spirit of bad Sinbad movies I can’t get enough of or Jason and the Argonauts, this is a classic movie. We all have memories from our childhood of this movie. We loved it then and we appreciate it now. So why mess with it. How could this possibly have potential?
While I have mixed emotions over it, if you know your mythology you know they screwed with the story. I would like to see not a remake but a telling of the original mythology with it fully intact. This movie has excessive CGI written all over it and while I believe less is more, you need outstanding CGI work to make this movie work. Think of the kung fu robots we got from Transformers.
Friday the 13th, Nightmare on Elm Street, Hellraiser
Studios: Various
What makes me twitch and at the same time makes me wonder: I twitch because I love these flicks just the way they are. You don’t mess with classics.
I wonder about these only because of the outstanding job Rob Zombie did with his re-imagining of Halloween. The major reason that Halloween worked is because Rob is a fan first, director second. They are going to need to either hire Rob or find guys that have his passion for the genre.
The Thing and Escape from New York
Studios: Universal (The Thing), New Line (Escape from New York)
Why this is a bad idea: 2 words, Kurt Russel. You will never find anyone that can play Snake Plissken as well as Kurt. Not to mention that watching The Thing when I was 9 scared the ever living s*** out of me. I have gone back as an adult to watch the movie and it holds up. John Carpenter is a very special kind of film maker that can take B-Movie material and give back something that has entertainment value.
Dune
Studio: Unknown
Why it is the second worst idea I have ever heard: If some one wants to help me out with the studio that would be great but the director is going to be actor turned director Peter Berg. I love the original. Frank Herbert loved the original. He even talks about it on the special edition DVD. I don’t care about the effects and I loved the inner dialog you got from the characters. Don’t even come at me with that remake the SciFi channel did. I hated it. Watched twice to make sure and yes I hated it. This has bad things written all over it as I know the budget is going to be well over $100 million and rely on way too much CGI to tell the story while they invest nothing into the story. I hope they prove me wrong.
Evil Dead
Studio: Ghost House Pictures
Why this is the worst idea of all time hands down no arguments allowed: 2 words, Bruce “I am the guy with the gun” Campbell. The original is hands down still one of the scariest movies I have ever seen. I am not talking about the Evil dead 2 which was more comedy then horror. I am talking about the master piece that makes me turn the lights on in the house every time I watch it. I personally blame watching this movie too many times in the middle of the night for my rediscovered fear of the dark and things that go bump in the night. I don’t care that Raimi and Campbell are producing it. With out Bruce as Ash the movie will be noting more than a sell outs bastardization of their own work.
9 comments:
I would like to add one to your list if I may.
I do not like the re-make of Annie. The one with Cathy Bates as Mrs. Hannigan. It blows. The one that came out when I was a little girl sometime in the 80's had wonderful choreography and gorgeous costuming and scenery. The casting was fabulous, especially Carol Burnett as the drunken Mrs. Hannigan. They really should have left well enough alone.
I've been fired up about this for a while now.
There.
I feel so much better now that I've gotten that off my chest.
Happy Friday!
I knew better than to even watch it. Such as other remakes I have avoided. However there a few that are done well. I was really happy with the remake of the Shining as it was a lot closer to the book. Don't get me wrong I love the original and nobody tops Nicholson as a crazy man. I was just impressed with he extended story and felt Steven Webber did an excellent job.
Damn. Barbarella. What a great film. It for me as a teenage kid was one of those "Turn the sound off, get some tissues and just enjoy" films. Too far? Maybe. But I speak nothing but the truth.
GREAT FILM?
Sir I am way too hung over for such statements. Teenage spank material is one thing and I agree but a great film?
OK. Storyline no. Effects...weeeell, for its time OK. But for eye candy to a hormonal male...dude...GREAT film! With the lacking sattelite TV and only 4 channels growing up...yeah!
Great Spank Film for adolescent boys yes. That's as far I will go.
I know secretly you are jonesing for the advanced CGI in the film. *cough*
May I ask Mr Movie Whore, when is it justified to make a remake?
When your name is John Carpenter and you remake The Thing. I also liked Oceans Eleven but that had to do with the chemistry of cast.
There are some movies that lend themselves to be remade based on the quality of the flick. If it is a horrible bad movie that no one should have to sit through. Remake that movie and make it good. Leave good movies alone.
Like The Last Starfighter is being remade and there is nothing wrong with the original.
Post a Comment